Introducing Voltu.re

The first ever startup decelerator

At any moment, there are thousands of startups in Silicon Valley trying to get their foot in the door. Thousands of 20-somethings flush with be-logo’ed t-shirts, sunglasses, gently-used Apple products, and most importantly, thousands (or millions) of VC dollars, who are looking to obtain “customers” by whatever means necessary. The experienced team at Voltu.re sees this as an opportunity to help our clients cash in on the gift economy while adding value to the entire startup community.

How does it work? Voltu.re analysts start by scanning the terrain, using our advanced (proprietary) algorithm to patrol peripheral innovation and tech publications, reddit, and the lesser echelons of ProductHunt and Kickstarter, for likely candidates. Our software looks for companies that created a significant amount of buzz for a short period of time, ones that have more than 10,000 Twitter/Facebook/Instagram followers but seemingly no product, that have an office in San Francisco though seemingly no staff, or anyone promising to be the next Uber/AirBnB/Google of anything. Once we’ve isolated candidates, our team of unpaid research interns get to work, tracking down any event announcement, product launches, or social media giveaways that the company has announced and even reaching out to company staff directly.

This is where the magic happens. We then distribute this information to our clients, the League of Engaged and Efficient Community enHancers, or LEECHs for short, and they are alerted to any and all events or opportunities to acquire free swag/food/alcohol/products/celebrity meet-and-greets from our startups. As our companies move through the Voltu.re program, they slowly relinquish all of their liquidat-able capital to our clients, first hoodies and happy hours, then urls, iPads, and office space. In the end, Voltu.re not only satisfies the needs of our users, we also return ambitious laborers to the marketplace where they can be snatched up by the actual Ubers/AirBnbs/Googles of the world.

How is this strategy possible, you ask? It starts with the Venture Capital model. Today, a VC portfolio is built on statistics; invest in 100 companies, 1 is going to make it big, 20 are going to break even, 60 are going bust. Voltu.re’s mission is to make sure that the assets of those final 60 companies don’t get lost in the shuffle of collapsing dreams. We’re here, with our vast (and always growing!) network of LEECHs to make sure an individuals failure can still be a boon for the community.

How does Voltu.re make money? We have three primary revenue streams. The first, a $6.95 monthly membership fee, paid by our LEECHs, to be part of the Voltu.re community. Most of our users agree that the cost is more than made up for after attending just one event. Secondly, we charge the startups in our program a $100 fee for every event/giveaway/product launch we advertise to our customers. Time and again we hear from our startups that this is a “great deal”. Finally, we also collect revenue directly from VCs. A few of our closest partners (we can’t name names, but let’s just say we didn’t accel at drinking Coca khosla with them yesterday in that forest of sequoias) have decided that rather than stacking their portfolios with sub-prime ideas, it’s easier to cutout the middle man and fund us directly.

Interested in joining the Voltu.re network as a LEECH? Visit our website here.

Interested in applying to be part of the Voltu.re cohort of 2016? Apply now.

Interested in investing directly in Voltu.re? Contact us here.

Stay hungry,

— The team @ Voltu.re (We Eat Startups)